Pepper

My Husband had Ernie when we got together.  He had always been his big, gentle protector and friend.  I didn’t want a dog.  God knew better and once he was home with us I had never felt as safe as I did when Ernie came into my life.  I didn’t want a dog, but I was so thankful that he came into my life.  None of us ever had to worry because he was on watch and ready to protect and love us at all times.  When we took him to the vet that day, we didn’t think we wouldn’t be coming home with him.  We grieved for him and Pepper grieved for him.  When we brought that blanket home, the same that we wrapped Pepper in, she sniffed it and whined.  I believe that she knew and she instantly took over for him – full of heart and protecting us at all times.  You all took care of our big pretty boy at a time that we didn’t know how to process that he was gone until Chad picked him up from you.  We knew he was home and would still watch over all of us through Pepper.  Ernie had a long happy life and he loved us so much that he hid how much pain he was in.  We were able to honor him, hold him and say goodbye.  It was beyond heart wrenching, but we believe that Pepper had absorbed a big part of him and she loved us through it.   Losing our Pepp is, by far, the most traumatic and excruciatingly painful experience that any of us have ever had.  We’ve both been divorced and we and our children, by the Grace of God, survived that and found each other.  I have children, my husband has children and, at times, it was tough meshing our very separate lives together. When God gave us Pepper – she brought us all together.  There was never a choice in falling madly in love with her.  By loving her so easily and her loving us so selflessly – she helped us become a family unit because she was a part of all of us, his, mine and ours.  Pepper was only 4 and we never dreamed we would lose her this soon or in this senseless, horrific way.  She was a part of our every waking moment and she knew it.  And we know that we were everything to her. We take comfort in that.  My husband has said it best “God needed her more than we did and Ernie was waiting for her”. The grief and heartache we feel for her is absolutely unbearable.  There hasn’t been a second since Sunday that we haven’t mourned and ached for our big, sweet, velvet face, bigger than life, velcro baby.  The memories and pictures are so very, very bittersweet and we are so very grateful to have had her.  We are not adjusting to life without her big beautiful personality.  We just don’t know how to do that.   Our lives and our home will never, ever be the same and I don’t think our hearts will ever heal from this, but we would like for you to know that we are so, so thankful to you that you do what you do.  She’s home and we have her sweet paw print to rub our fingers through.   Thank you for treating us with compassion and taking care of our precious baby girl.  She was our everything.